Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

It’s not fair

That I am right here

and you are over there

It breaks my heart

When I need you

but you’re so far

and I feel weak

reaching out for you

in my sleep

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

It’s not right

being alone

without you at night

I feel alone

without my safe place

what I call home

It won’t do

to keep crying out

and wanting you

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

Is it love

this feeling like

I can’t get enough?

Should I wait

for the day to come

when you can stay?

Do you care

when I’m right here

and you’re over there?

you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

close enough to touch

you’re not near me

no, you’t can be

close enough to love

no, you can’t be

no, you can’t be

with me

and you
you make me
you make me feel
like it’s okay to be so complicated
and suddenly it’s a simple thing

but you
you make me
you make me wonder
if there’s nothing we can do
to make this thing so simple

yet you
you make me
you make me want
you every minute of every day
and never have to let you go

so you
you’ve got me
you’ve got me
waiting and wanting, in love
and waiting just for you

I’m going to curl up and dream of you

and all the things we’ve yet to do

in my dreams I’ll touch your face

and melt into your safe place

I’ll let myself come flooding out

so you can see what I’m about

And when you hold me near

I’ll forget about my fear

I sleep so I can finally go

to a place that doesn’t exist I know

but where my love can finally show

It’s a simple thing in my heart

we’re better together than we are apart

we laugh and we love and we kiss and we smile

and fall deeper in love all the while

In dreams there’s nothing in the way

to drag us apart, day after day

and everything is easy to understand

nothing undermines my sweetest plan

I sleep so I can have your kiss

in a land where I don’t have to miss

your voice, your laugh your gentleness

I’m going to wake up alone in my bed

with thoughts of you running through my head

our love story quickly fades away

and I am forced to go through my day

without knowing your body next to mine

or your laughter to pass the time

and when the day’s end has come and gone

I return to my dreams — always alone

I sleep so I can forget the pain

and to silence the yelling in my brain

So I sleep and sleep and sleep again

Autumn is the whisper

as leaves change color and fall to the ground

as time seems to slow down; we all do

but winter is the shriek, burning our ears and our skin

it chases us inside, covering the world in gloom

we sit inside, helpless and staring outward as the darkness closes in,

only to emerge into the world after the birds have returned,

singing their song

because spring is a serenade that warms our hearts and our homes

it invites us back outside, caressing where winter was bitter and tormenting

spring is color and life renewed

but summer, summer is the sound of laughter and love

children in the field and lovers at the beach and teenagers in the park

— long after the sun has set and curfew has passed

summer is the spray of water and the smell of the sun,

the last remnants of youth before autumn whispers it all away

You’re my three thirty in the morning

Comes on without warning

There’s no pill that I can take

To fix my broken heart ache

I’m the girl you’re able to forget

The one who never should have let

Herself lose control of her heart

Who fell for you and fell apart

We’re the promise impossible to keep

Only existing when I sleep

The potential that we’ll never meet

Makes those dreams painfully sweet

It’s the story never told

Without the chance to get old

Won’t go down in history

Or have the chance to see

Our love was far-too-brief story

You spin me ’round, pull me down
make me feel like my feet don’t touch the ground

you give me love, lift me up
like the answer to my prayer’s in your touch

I pretend it’s fine, one day at a time
but I want to make you all mine

Should move to the door, stuck on  the floor
can’t you tell that I want more, more, more?

and I don’t know, does it show
that I fall apart every time you go?

You don’t see how, you’ve got me now
If I could only say the words out loud

Easy to see, how we could be
the best part of you and the best of me

Want to show you, how it’s true
every little thing that I’d do for you

You know my heart, from the start
Nothing could ever tear us apart

We can go home, all our own
a place where we’ll never be alone

I don’t know why, I can’t lie
We both know it doesn’t pay to say “good bye”

Guess I’ll keep on, writing this song
Pretending that it will never go wrong

She never quite felt safe. No, that wasn’t the word for it. She just always felt on. She was always analyzing the situations even as she was in the middle of them. Being around people, no matter how fun or gratifying, was always a drain on her. Like a true introvert, she needed time alone to recharge. It was during that charge that she could finally relax, let her hair down. She didn’t care how she looked after a long day or how ungraceful her movements were as she danced alone in her home.

But eventually she’d return to the world. She couldn’t be alone forever (she didn’t want to be alone, either). She’d return to the people that she called friends, to her family, to the people that she loved and who loved her, and they’d slowly drain her away. No, it was never quite safe in the real world.

It felt safe with him, though. It felt safe in his arms. She had no doubt that he accepted her unconditionally, that no matter how worn her makeup, how tired her voice or how messy her hair, that would be okay by him. It would be better than okay, she was sure. And she needed that.

She needed that in ways she hadn’t understood for years. She hadn’t felt that way with her previous partners, not even the one to whom she sworn to love until the day she died. She hadn’t felt so wholly comfortable, so utterly free. She had never quite felt so complete as when she was in his arms. The realization that the person who had been there all along was the key to a locked door she hadn’t even seen while she passed it a hundred, thousand, million times before.

And she didn’t think that he had any idea that he was the only key that fit, that he opened a door to freedom. He had no idea that that by holding her tight he was releasing her of all her worries and fears. He was clueless, perhaps, like all men are. Maybe that’s what made it all work in the end. She wasn’t quite sure.

All she knew is that she felt safe with him.

I wanna tell you to save the drama for mama
but I close my mouth cause I know you ain’t gonna
it’s no surprise we’re come to this place again,
you’ve always thrived on misery my friend

the only thing still shocking is that I try
to tell you the truth when you’d rather I just lie
but we both know that i can’t do that, I just don’t have it in me
so don’t you think it’s time, someone puts us out our misery?

Maybe I won’t even say good bye
Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way

You’ve walked over me so many times, it’s like I’m stuck to the floor
I don’t know if I can walk again or even get up anymore
as much as I try, I can’t rest all the blame on you
I lay here in the first place, what did i think you’d do?
But our game has lost its charm, it’s no longer any fun
Time to close up the playing board, because I am good and done

Maybe I won’t even say good bye
Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way

I know I have no other choice, though you won’t understand
but if I stay here any longer, both of us are damned
You’ll think it’s so easy, the way I’m letting go
The truth of it is different, but that’s the face I show

Maybe you won’t even shed a tear
Maybe you’re happy that we’re here
Maybe you’ve just pushed me away
Cause maybe it’s better that way

Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way

and you don’t know

(you don’t know, you don’t know)

how could i expect you to?

it doesn’t show

(doesn’t show, doesn’t show)

this love i have for you

I know I should get out

(i should get out, can i get out?)

i can’t see a single way

that this works out

(this works out, this works out)

but i fight the urge to stay

do you feel the things i feel?

(things i feel, things i feel)

am i just making it up as i go along?

tell me are these feelings real?

(feelings real, feelings real)

maybe everything’s so wrong

still i can’t help but write it down

(write it down, write it down)

to see these lyrics free

even if it burns me down

(burns me down, burns me down)

and you’re the end of me

can i keep going on?

(keep going on, keep going on)

Is there something for me in the end?

Or is this just a silly song

(a silly song, a silly song)

That you’ll never hear my friend

and don’t you know

(oh you know, oh you know)

all the things I say I feel

(things I feel, things I feel)

there’s too many things to show,

but I can feel that they are real

you’re like a wind storm blowing me down

you’re going to bowl me over

and whenever you come around

I can’t seem to be sober

caught up in your way

thinking about it every day

hanging on every word you say

I can never get away

i look on ahead and i know

this thing we have will never last

but right now I cannot let go

I’m just living in our future’s past

caught up in your way

thinking about it every day

hanging on every word you say

I can never get away

you could never give me forever

even though I’d like to let you try

we’ll never end up together

you’ll have to be the one to say goodbye

caught up in your way

thinking about it every day

hanging on every word you say

I can never get away

and it haunts me each and every day

it doesn’t matter the words you say

eventually you”ll just go away

we both know that’s your way