Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought


February 6th, 2015

My heart breaks for her, the girl who looked in the mirror and saw nothing but defects. She tried and tried and tried some more to hide them, to hide herself, from the world, lest they discover how broken she really was. She hid behind masks and scowls and eyeliners, and she hated the world for making her hide almost as much as she hated her defected self.

I shed a tear for the girl who had no idea whatsoever that she might be the holder of redeeming qualities. I would hold her close and whisper into her ear that it isn’t true no matter what some people might say. It’s only their own insecurities and perhaps they weren’t ready, the world wasn’t ready, for someone like her to walk its paths.

I wonder why why why and how a person like her could spend more than half her life, wasting the years away, hiding and completely oblivious to her own light. Days and nights blending together with no light at the end of the tunnel. After all, there can be no light if her eyes are and everything is dark dark dark.

If only I could have, had I known, were I able to, create the safe place where she could open her eyes, embrace the world, spread her love and finally finally finally shine.

The Enemy

December 26th, 2009

unplug the clock
because it must be wrong
there are too many words
needing to be said
but not enough time
and the minutes fly by
turning into hours
and all i’ve managed to say
are all the wrong things
wasted time
but the seconds tick by
s l o w l y
when you are not here
and all i can do is think
and thinkthinkthink
about what if
and all the wrong turns
we’ve taken
and i am all alone inside my head
i have no control
over any of these forces
or my own thoughts
there’s so many so clear now
and i wish i could tell you
with this clarity
but i see you and it puddles away
unreachable in some far corner
in the back of my mind
and i can feel it there
and it only makes me angrier
because I know I am wrong
but I can’t stop it
just like I can’t stop you now
and I can’t stop the clock
from lying to me
maybe it’s not us
maybe time is the problem
maybe the clock is the enemy

Not Us

November 3rd, 2009

Who are these people
yelling and screaming
kicking and hurting
pushing eachother away?
with every word
another blow
to a deflated ego
another crack
in a broken heart
who are these people
insensitive fools
slinging thoughtless words?
where are we
in moments like these?
surely these people
fighting so hard
crying tears so hot
throats so hoarse
so ignorant to the truth
cannot possibly be
you and me?
don’t we know
that we are different
not like that in the least
we are full of love
compassion and
understanding for one another
we could never succumb
to such mindlessness
counterproductive activity
we are not that
tell me that
those people are
not us

Self Worth(lessness)

January 27th, 2003

This Feeling of Self Worth(lessness) i want to shine like the stars everybody loves them i want to be perfect in my own way i want to sit in the shadowed corned everything quiet and undisturbed so i can listen to my own jumbled thoughts but i want everyones face to turn my way i want them to be captivated by my mere presence i want them to love me because i am [myself] i don’t want to be trapped with this secondhand life i want to be free to speak my mind and follow the impulses of my heart whatever they may be i want to be better better than what i am