Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

The Enemy

December 26th, 2009

unplug the clock
because it must be wrong
there are too many words
needing to be said
but not enough time
and the minutes fly by
turning into hours
and all i’ve managed to say
are all the wrong things
wasted time
but the seconds tick by
s l o w l y
when you are not here
and all i can do is think
and thinkthinkthink
about what if
and all the wrong turns
we’ve taken
and i am all alone inside my head
i have no control
over any of these forces
or my own thoughts
there’s so many so clear now
and i wish i could tell you
with this clarity
but i see you and it puddles away
unreachable in some far corner
in the back of my mind
and i can feel it there
and it only makes me angrier
because I know I am wrong
but I can’t stop it
just like I can’t stop you now
and I can’t stop the clock
from lying to me
maybe it’s not us
maybe time is the problem
maybe the clock is the enemy

Not Us

November 3rd, 2009

Who are these people
yelling and screaming
kicking and hurting
pushing eachother away?
with every word
another blow
to a deflated ego
another crack
in a broken heart
who are these people
insensitive fools
slinging thoughtless words?
where are we
in moments like these?
surely these people
fighting so hard
crying tears so hot
throats so hoarse
so ignorant to the truth
cannot possibly be
you and me?
don’t we know
that we are different
not like that in the least
we are full of love
compassion and
understanding for one another
we could never succumb
to such mindlessness
counterproductive activity
we are not that
tell me that
those people are
not us


June 12th, 2003

you think you’re so fucking special
i bet you’re just waiting for me to agree
what are you trying to prove?
to you? to me?
you’re obviously blind to the message i’m trying to get across
but i guess that’s all okay ’cause it isn’t my loss
i’m not the one playing games like you say
but if this is how it’ll be then i guess i will play
your words, they don’t burn me that deep
don’t think i am fooled by your naivete
don’t come crawling back on your hands and your knees
ive asked you once, can’t you just let me be?

June 11th, 2003

gah! i’m so pissed! i can’t write for shit anymore! maybe i never could there’s no emotion no movement there’s nothing i wish i could write like sigi i wish i wish everything is dead there’s nothing anymore

Dear Friend

April 5th, 2003

dear friend,
do you know why i [love] you? you’re so crazy. you don’t care. you do the things i could never dream. people stare, and you laugh. i [know] you’re better than they ever will be. and i’m jealous. you’re smart, and beautiful. i bet no one [ever] told you that, because they’re all blind? you make me feel better, most of the time, and it’s great. you really think for yourself. you’re such an individual. but society doesn’t value people like you. i don’t understand. i feel like a child, because these concepts come so easily to me. why discriminate at all? why is society so backwards? sometimes i wish to do the crazy things you do, but they’re not me. what i like when i’m with you, is how i feel like i can really do something. i feel [other] worldly, not so naive, compassionate. i feel as though you understand me on some other level. perhaps you hear what i am saying beneath my words? or perhaps you are just comfortable, and it would never really matter if you weren’t listening anyway, because i know i can talk and you won’t judge? i don’t think others can handle you. they can’t see beyond the crazy. they don’t see the world in its true beauty. those poor pitiful humans. you and i, share so much, and yet, we are so unalike. i can be content in my corner. sometimes i really am looking for the spotlight. you are my outlet. you are, pure magick.

Self Worth(lessness)

January 27th, 2003

This Feeling of Self Worth(lessness) i want to shine like the stars everybody loves them i want to be perfect in my own way i want to sit in the shadowed corned everything quiet and undisturbed so i can listen to my own jumbled thoughts but i want everyones face to turn my way i want them to be captivated by my mere presence i want them to love me because i am [myself] i don’t want to be trapped with this secondhand life i want to be free to speak my mind and follow the impulses of my heart whatever they may be i want to be better better than what i am