Every song is sadder than the last
melodic reminders of everything
that I don’t have
all the things gone wrong
in such a short life
every failure on my own behalf
and each nagging thought that follows
Next time I’ll make a damn playlist
Fuck you
I’m in love with you
And you don’t know or you don’t care
It doesn’t matter either
Anyway
I’ve got other crosses to bear
I wanna tell you to save the drama for mama
but I close my mouth cause I know you ain’t gonna
it’s no surprise we’re come to this place again,
you’ve always thrived on misery my friend
the only thing still shocking is that I try
to tell you the truth when you’d rather I just lie
but we both know that i can’t do that, I just don’t have it in me
so don’t you think it’s time, someone puts us out our misery?
Maybe I won’t even say good bye
Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way
You’ve walked over me so many times, it’s like I’m stuck to the floor
I don’t know if I can walk again or even get up anymore
as much as I try, I can’t rest all the blame on you
I lay here in the first place, what did i think you’d do?
But our game has lost its charm, it’s no longer any fun
Time to close up the playing board, because I am good and done
Maybe I won’t even say good bye
Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way
I know I have no other choice, though you won’t understand
but if I stay here any longer, both of us are damned
You’ll think it’s so easy, the way I’m letting go
The truth of it is different, but that’s the face I show
Maybe you won’t even shed a tear
Maybe you’re happy that we’re here
Maybe you’ve just pushed me away
Cause maybe it’s better that way
Maybe you shouldn’t see me cry
Maybe I’ll just walk away
Cause maybe it’s better that way
You know how I feel
this ain’t no break it deal
but a make it deal
you say it’s too late to feel
anything else
I know it’s not easy
I know that I’m to blame
what I’m asking for
is a lot of hard work
and we may never be the same
Still
What I’ve said to you
is nothing but true
we can make it through
why not give it a shot
if there’s nothing left to lose?
I know it’s not easy
I know that I’m to blame
what I’m asking for
is a lot of hard work
and we may never be the same
Still
When it comes to love
why are we giving up
when you’d called me the one
how could we ever be done
so easily?
I know it’s not easy
I know that I’m to blame
what I’m asking for
is a lot of hard work
and we may never be the same
Still
the clock’s ticking down
while you’re not around
I can’t pretend
that I even understand
I know you don’t know how
or even where to begin
what I’m asking for
is a long road ahead
but worth it in the end
unplug the clock
because it must be wrong
there are too many words
needing to be said
but not enough time
and the minutes fly by
turning into hours
and all i’ve managed to say
are all the wrong things
wasted time
but the seconds tick by
s l o w l y
when you are not here
and all i can do is think
and thinkthinkthink
about what if
and all the wrong turns
we’ve taken
and i am all alone inside my head
i have no control
over any of these forces
or my own thoughts
there’s so many so clear now
and i wish i could tell you
with this clarity
but i see you and it puddles away
unreachable in some far corner
in the back of my mind
and i can feel it there
and it only makes me angrier
because I know I am wrong
but I can’t stop it
just like I can’t stop you now
and I can’t stop the clock
from lying to me
maybe it’s not us
maybe time is the problem
maybe the clock is the enemy
Who are these people
yelling and screaming
kicking and hurting
pushing eachother away?
with every word
another blow
to a deflated ego
another crack
in a broken heart
who are these people
insensitive fools
slinging thoughtless words?
where are we
in moments like these?
surely these people
fighting so hard
crying tears so hot
throats so hoarse
so ignorant to the truth
cannot possibly be
you and me?
don’t we know
that we are different
not like that in the least
we are full of love
compassion and
understanding for one another
we could never succumb
to such mindlessness
counterproductive activity
we are not that
ridiculous
tell me that
those people are
not us
i guess i always wanted
to be genius in your eyes
but it never worked out that way
as i always came up short
i thought you knew the world
and were wise beyond your years
but it turns out you were just a little boy
your opinion was all that mattered
but i soon came to realize
i would never mean to you what you meant to me
when you know you’re giving
more than ever will be received in return
it’s time to step off of your electric chair
before the possible becomes the inevitable
and you’re stuck in someone’s web
woven into oblivion
i could not breathe without your say
and i let you twist me grotesquely
i would not argue or complain
for fear that you would leave
but no matter how good i was
you left me just the same
and my tears would fall again
i don’t know how many times i let you
trample down my garden
but i knew one of these days enough would be enough
you could bend and shape me
but i’d never let you break me i
don’t think you knew how angry i’d become
it was more than just a lie,
it was my heart that was on the line
the day i grew the strength to say good bye,
i knew i didn’t need you
i could walk away with my head held high, it was me who would leave you
somewhere along the line i felt the pain and doubled back again
but caught myself just in time, before i crossed that line
i knew if i submitted to your abuse i’d be caught forever
and the better part of me knew
there was something better than you
i see you now and you’re naive
you know nothing of the world you see
you know nothing of the love you waste
and i am better than that
a little wiser i would dare to say
because it doesn’t matter if i’m genius in your eyes
you think you’re so fucking special
i bet you’re just waiting for me to agree
what are you trying to prove?
to you? to me?
you’re obviously blind to the message i’m trying to get across
but i guess that’s all okay ’cause it isn’t my loss
i’m not the one playing games like you say
but if this is how it’ll be then i guess i will play
your words, they don’t burn me that deep
don’t think i am fooled by your naivete
don’t come crawling back on your hands and your knees
ive asked you once, can’t you just let me be?
dear friend,
do you know why i [love] you? you’re so crazy. you don’t care. you do the things i could never dream. people stare, and you laugh. i [know] you’re better than they ever will be. and i’m jealous. you’re smart, and beautiful. i bet no one [ever] told you that, because they’re all blind? you make me feel better, most of the time, and it’s great. you really think for yourself. you’re such an individual. but society doesn’t value people like you. i don’t understand. i feel like a child, because these concepts come so easily to me. why discriminate at all? why is society so backwards? sometimes i wish to do the crazy things you do, but they’re not me. what i like when i’m with you, is how i feel like i can really do something. i feel [other] worldly, not so naive, compassionate. i feel as though you understand me on some other level. perhaps you hear what i am saying beneath my words? or perhaps you are just comfortable, and it would never really matter if you weren’t listening anyway, because i know i can talk and you won’t judge? i don’t think others can handle you. they can’t see beyond the crazy. they don’t see the world in its true beauty. those poor pitiful humans. you and i, share so much, and yet, we are so unalike. i can be content in my corner. sometimes i really am looking for the spotlight. you are my outlet. you are, pure magick.