Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

Need

October 14th, 2014

Need

I have a need for you

and I could tell you how I feel it

in the pit of my stomach or the depths of my heart

that it starts at curled toes or works it way through my veins

but those would all be lies

because there isn’t anywhere that I don’t feel it

the need

for you

 

Need

the need I have isn’t just a feeling

it’s a thought

or perhaps better said

it is every thought I ever have

every thought of every day

and every breath  I take

and every moment I live

I have it

a need

for you

 

Need

When you have it

a need

for someone else

you  suddenly need more

you have a need for them

to need you too

to need you like you need them

and so I do

I need you

to need me in return

and we can provide for one another

our needs

 

Missing

August 16th, 2014

How do you measure how much you miss someone?

 

Is it in the heartbeats counted while you are apart

or perhaps it is in how much more quickly our heart beats when finally we are together again?

 

Maybe the act of missing is measured by breaths

the number of which we cannot take because the pressure is too intense

 

I could measure the amount that I miss you when you’re gone

by the number of times my mouth turns up in a smile, remembering our time together

 

And when I miss you far too much, I measure it in tears

Slow and alone, heavy and numerous, accompanying choked-back sobs without you to wipe them away

 

I measure how much I miss you in moments

endless moments full of tears and heartbeats and, yes, even smiles

moments during which we are apart and my heart aches

 

These moments will never shine brightly because they are lacking

lacking of you, the one person, the thing, the guarantee

that a moment, any moment, is a moment i would rather not miss

because when we are together, i do not miss you

nor do i miss anyone or anything else

and nothing is missing in my life

 

I don’t have to count or measure

there’s no need for considerations like that

when we’re together

no parts of me are missing

My City

August 5th, 2014

My city she sleeps

and I try not to disturb her

because it’s in her slumber that her beauty keeps

 

my city barely make a sound

and so I hold my breath

with no one else around

 

my city rolls away

I see her familiar curves

who else has seen her this way?

 

My city is at peace

everyone is fast asleep

and my city shares her secrets with me

 

my city is at rest

beneath bright stars in the sky

and as my city sleeps, I love her best

Once upon a time

May 19th, 2014

I wrote you right into my fairytale

you were the leading man

and I fought tooth and nail

to get to our happy end

 

You were no prince charming

this much was easy to see

still your smile was disarming

completely taking over me

 

I’d tell myself maybe it was okay

If we were perfect from the start

As long as I could hear you say

that I was always in your heart

 

I’d heard that real love is nothing more

than two imperfect strangers

who refuse to walk out that door

both completely unaware of the danger

 

And in my head that picture painted was us

Although I couldn’t see it at the time

That wasn’t the story of our love

Looking back, I wish I could rewind

 

The problem with Hollywood

Is that movies end at the beginning

Just when things are getting good

The end credits start spinning

 

The same is true for us, now I see

at the time what I didn’t know

is what seemed like the last chapter for me

was just another turn on this road

 

There’s no use in reading story books

And expecting our lives to follow

Even today I can’t look

into the future and see my tomorrow

 

So I close the gilded page

to step back into my life

and enjoy the beautiful day

having never been your wife

Love on Repeat

February 25th, 2014

You must be like gravity
pulling me to my knees
and I can’t breathe
without you next to me

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

My heart and soul
at your beck and call
You have it all
and I just fall

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

I could scream and shout
to get it all out
how I love you now
there is no doubt

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

And can’t even
get enough
And I don’t dare to
walk away from love
Because I can’t stand to
give this up

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

That Girl

February 20th, 2014

Walking tall with confidence
laughter ending every sentence
never stuck on the fence

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Popular with all the guys
Catching every passing eye
Too cool to be shy

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Smiling in every photograph
and taking every single chance
knowing that I’m good enough for that

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Because she’s got it all down
From her perfect hair to her Cinderella gown
The boys they chase her everywhere
The girls want to be her they swear
She makes it look like everything comes easily
She’s nothing like a girl like me

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

I’ve never been that girl, that girl
No, I’ve never been that girl before

With Me

February 16th, 2014

It’s not fair

That I am right here

and you are over there

It breaks my heart

When I need you

but you’re so far

and I feel weak

reaching out for you

in my sleep

 

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

 

It’s not right

being alone

without you at night

I feel alone

without my safe place

what I call home

It won’t do

to keep crying out

and wanting you

 

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

 

Is it love

this feeling like

I can’t get enough?

Should I wait

for the day to come

when you can stay?

Do you care

when I’m right here

and you’re over there?

 

you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

close enough to touch

you’re not near me

no, you’t can be

close enough to love

no, you can’t be

no, you can’t be

with me

You

January 9th, 2014

and you
you make me
you make me feel
like it’s okay to be so complicated
and suddenly it’s a simple thing

but you
you make me
you make me wonder
if there’s nothing we can do
to make this thing so simple

yet you
you make me
you make me want
you every minute of every day
and never have to let you go

so you
you’ve got me
you’ve got me
waiting and wanting, in love
and waiting just for you

I Sleep

January 2nd, 2014

I’m going to curl up and dream of you

and all the things we’ve yet to do

in my dreams I’ll touch your face

and melt into your safe place

I’ll let myself come flooding out

so you can see what I’m about

And when you hold me near

I’ll forget about my fear

 

I sleep so I can finally go

to a place that doesn’t exist I know

but where my love can finally show

 

It’s a simple thing in my heart

we’re better together than we are apart

we laugh and we love and we kiss and we smile

and fall deeper in love all the while

In dreams there’s nothing in the way

to drag us apart, day after day

and everything is easy to understand

nothing undermines my sweetest plan

 

I sleep so I can have your kiss

in a land where I don’t have to miss

your voice, your laugh your gentleness

 

I’m going to wake up alone in my bed

with thoughts of you running through my head

our love story quickly fades away

and I am forced to go through my day

without knowing your body next to mine

or your laughter to pass the time

and when the day’s end has come and gone

I return to my dreams — always alone

 

I sleep so I can forget the pain

and to silence the yelling in my brain

So I sleep and sleep and sleep again

Listen

December 11th, 2013

Autumn is the whisper

as leaves change color and fall to the ground

as time seems to slow down; we all do

but winter is the shriek, burning our ears and our skin

it chases us inside, covering the world in gloom

we sit inside, helpless and staring outward as the darkness closes in,

only to emerge into the world after the birds have returned,

singing their song

because spring is a serenade that warms our hearts and our homes

it invites us back outside, caressing where winter was bitter and tormenting

spring is color and life renewed

but summer, summer is the sound of laughter and love

children in the field and lovers at the beach and teenagers in the park

— long after the sun has set and curfew has passed

summer is the spray of water and the smell of the sun,

the last remnants of youth before autumn whispers it all away

 

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