Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

Once upon a time

May 19th, 2014

I wrote you right into my fairytale

you were the leading man

and I fought tooth and nail

to get to our happy end

 

You were no prince charming

this much was easy to see

still your smile was disarming

completely taking over me

 

I’d tell myself maybe it was okay

If we were perfect from the start

As long as I could hear you say

that I was always in your heart

 

I’d heard that real love is nothing more

than two imperfect strangers

who refuse to walk out that door

both completely unaware of the danger

 

And in my head that picture painted was us

Although I couldn’t see it at the time

That wasn’t the story of our love

Looking back, I wish I could rewind

 

The problem with Hollywood

Is that movies end at the beginning

Just when things are getting good

The end credits start spinning

 

The same is true for us, now I see

at the time what I didn’t know

is what seemed like the last chapter for me

was just another turn on this road

 

There’s no use in reading story books

And expecting our lives to follow

Even today I can’t look

into the future and see my tomorrow

 

So I close the gilded page

to step back into my life

and enjoy the beautiful day

having never been your wife

Love on Repeat

February 25th, 2014

You must be like gravity
pulling me to my knees
and I can’t breathe
without you next to me

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

My heart and soul
at your beck and call
You have it all
and I just fall

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

I could scream and shout
to get it all out
how I love you now
there is no doubt

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

And can’t even
get enough
And I don’t dare to
walk away from love
Because I can’t stand to
give this up

And I don’t wanna
let go of it
And I don’t dare to
walk away from it
Because I can’t stand to
live without it

That Girl

February 20th, 2014

Walking tall with confidence
laughter ending every sentence
never stuck on the fence

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Popular with all the guys
Catching every passing eye
Too cool to be shy

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Smiling in every photograph
and taking every single chance
knowing that I’m good enough for that

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

Because she’s got it all down
From her perfect hair to her Cinderella gown
The boys they chase her everywhere
The girls want to be her they swear
She makes it look like everything comes easily
She’s nothing like a girl like me

I’ve never been that girl
Never been the girl who owned the world
Never been that girl before
Never been all that and more

I’ve never been that girl, that girl
No, I’ve never been that girl before

With Me

February 16th, 2014

It’s not fair

That I am right here

and you are over there

It breaks my heart

When I need you

but you’re so far

and I feel weak

reaching out for you

in my sleep

 

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

 

It’s not right

being alone

without you at night

I feel alone

without my safe place

what I call home

It won’t do

to keep crying out

and wanting you

 

but you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

you’re not near me

you’re not close enough

to wrap inside my love

how i wish you could stay

but then you go ahead

 

Is it love

this feeling like

I can’t get enough?

Should I wait

for the day to come

when you can stay?

Do you care

when I’m right here

and you’re over there?

 

you’re not with me

no, you can’t be

close enough to touch

you’re not near me

no, you’t can be

close enough to love

no, you can’t be

no, you can’t be

with me

You

January 9th, 2014

and you
you make me
you make me feel
like it’s okay to be so complicated
and suddenly it’s a simple thing

but you
you make me
you make me wonder
if there’s nothing we can do
to make this thing so simple

yet you
you make me
you make me want
you every minute of every day
and never have to let you go

so you
you’ve got me
you’ve got me
waiting and wanting, in love
and waiting just for you

I Sleep

January 2nd, 2014

I’m going to curl up and dream of you

and all the things we’ve yet to do

in my dreams I’ll touch your face

and melt into your safe place

I’ll let myself come flooding out

so you can see what I’m about

And when you hold me near

I’ll forget about my fear

 

I sleep so I can finally go

to a place that doesn’t exist I know

but where my love can finally show

 

It’s a simple thing in my heart

we’re better together than we are apart

we laugh and we love and we kiss and we smile

and fall deeper in love all the while

In dreams there’s nothing in the way

to drag us apart, day after day

and everything is easy to understand

nothing undermines my sweetest plan

 

I sleep so I can have your kiss

in a land where I don’t have to miss

your voice, your laugh your gentleness

 

I’m going to wake up alone in my bed

with thoughts of you running through my head

our love story quickly fades away

and I am forced to go through my day

without knowing your body next to mine

or your laughter to pass the time

and when the day’s end has come and gone

I return to my dreams — always alone

 

I sleep so I can forget the pain

and to silence the yelling in my brain

So I sleep and sleep and sleep again

Listen

December 11th, 2013

Autumn is the whisper

as leaves change color and fall to the ground

as time seems to slow down; we all do

but winter is the shriek, burning our ears and our skin

it chases us inside, covering the world in gloom

we sit inside, helpless and staring outward as the darkness closes in,

only to emerge into the world after the birds have returned,

singing their song

because spring is a serenade that warms our hearts and our homes

it invites us back outside, caressing where winter was bitter and tormenting

spring is color and life renewed

but summer, summer is the sound of laughter and love

children in the field and lovers at the beach and teenagers in the park

– long after the sun has set and curfew has passed

summer is the spray of water and the smell of the sun,

the last remnants of youth before autumn whispers it all away

 

_____ (Rhymes with Lucky)

November 21st, 2013

You’re my three thirty in the morning

Comes on without warning

There’s no pill that I can take

To fix my broken heart ache

 

I’m the girl you’re able to forget

The one who never should have let

Herself lose control of her heart

Who fell for you and fell apart

 

We’re the promise impossible to keep

Only existing when I sleep

The potential that we’ll never meet

Makes those dreams painfully sweet

 

It’s the story never told

Without the change to get old

Won’t go down in history

Or have the chance to see

Our love was far-too-brief story

 

 

The Short and Long of It

October 18th, 2013

You spin me ’round, pull me down
make me feel like my feet don’t touch the ground

you give me love, lift me up
like the answer to my prayer’s in your touch

I pretend it’s fine, one day at a time
but I want to make you all mine

Should move to the door, stuck on  the floor
can’t you tell that I want more, more, more?

and I don’t know, does it show
that I fall apart every time you go?

You don’t see how, you’ve got me now
If I could only say the words out loud

Easy to see, how we could be
the best part of you and the best of me

Want to show you, how it’s true
every little thing that I’d do for you

You know my heart, from the start
Nothing could ever tear us apart

We can go home, all our own
a place where we’ll never be alone

I don’t know why, I can’t lie
We both know it doesn’t pay to say “good bye”

Guess I’ll keep on, writing this song
Pretending that it will never go wrong

 

Safe

October 10th, 2013

She never quite felt safe. No, that wasn’t the word for it. She just always felt on. She was always analyzing the situations even as she was in the middle of them. Being around people, no matter how fun or gratifying, was always a drain on her. Like a true introvert, she needed time alone to recharge. It was during that charge that she could finally relax, let her hair down. She didn’t care how she looked after a long day or how ungraceful her movements were as she danced alone in her home.

But eventually she’d return to the world. She couldn’t be alone forever (she didn’t want to be alone, either). She’d return to the people that she called friends, to her family, to the people that she loved and who loved her, and they’d slowly drain her away. No, it was never quite safe in the real world.

It felt safe with him, though. It felt safe in his arms. She had no doubt that he accepted her unconditionally, that no matter how worn her makeup, how tired her voice or how messy her hair, that would be okay by him. It would be better than okay, she was sure. And she needed that.

She needed that in ways she hadn’t under for years. She hadn’t felt that way with her previous partners, not even the one to whom she sworn to love until the day she died. She hadn’t felt so wholly comfortable, so utterly free. She had never quite felt so complete as when she was in his arms. The realization that the person who had been there all along was the key to a locked door she hadn’t even seen while she passed it a hundred, thousand, million times before.

And she didn’t think that he had any idea that he was the only key that fit, that he opened a door to freedom. He had no idea that that by holding her tight he was releasing her of all her worries and fears. He was clueless, perhaps, like all men are. Maybe that’s what made it all work in the end. She wasn’t quite sure.

All she knew is that she felt safe with him.

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