Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

Or Does It?

March 15th, 2016

It didn’t really matter, did it

That you were seven years my junior

It didn’t really matter, did it

The distance between us

And it didn’t matter

I hadn’t heard your voice

or touched your skin

or hadn’t yet saw the way you rolled your eyes when you laughed

you roll your eyes when you laugh

None of that mattered to my heart

Because it knew you

before I knew any of those things

And I needed to sadly for you to know me, too

It didn’t really matter, did it

that none of that would happen

It didn’t really matter did it,

that fate had a different plan

And it didn’t matter

that I was getting ahead of myself

counting all my chicks before they hatched

imagining impossible futures

and setting myself up for inevitable failure

Because I wanted so much for it to be true

for you to be the one

and for my wait to finally be done

It didn’t really matter, did it

And it doesn’t really matter now

Old Age

February 25th, 2016

My bones creak
they haven’t always
and they feel just fine in between
the squeaking
and the pain
but I don’t think my bones will ever be silent again
Because I am getting older
and your are getting older even as you read this
Maybe you creak too
Perhaps you can’t hear it
over the sound of your own thoughts
My brain used to be that loud
but now it’s quieter
and my bones creak

Deja Vu

February 25th, 2016

I remembered you today
For the first time in months
or has it been years?
I can’t recall
but I remembered you today
and then I remembered
the person I used to be
at the time when
I would never be able to
forget you
And now I’ve forgotten you long enough
to remember you today

Secondhand Opinion

February 14th, 2016

I could sing you a song

about how you’ve done me wrong

Try to use my words to show

but I think we both know

I could put it all in letter

but someone else has already done it better

 

 

I could add my voice to the heartbroke chorus

Everyone who came before us

Spin a tale about heartbreak and loss

and wonder if it’s worth the cost

But I’m not even that clever

and someone else has already done it better

 

I could devise a devious plan

find a way to force my hand

Try to win you over with time

Do everything in my power to make you mine

Promise to love you better

but someone else has already done it better

 

Maybe I’ll cut to the chase next time

I won’t be so blind or pretend you’re kind

Recognize the blame is only mine

if I put my heart on the line

Break my own heart until it’s shattered and severed

but someone else has already done it better

et tu

January 31st, 2016

and then there’s you

and you and you and you

lurking in every corner of my mind

slipping in and out of my dreams

miles away — yet somehow

always by my side

there you are

again

why can’t i shake

the thought of  you?

am i, is this, could it be

haunted?

it couldn’t be

but perhaps

am i blessed

with the thought of you?

and you and you and you

every waking hour

and sleep-filled night

it’s you

and you and you and you

I just can’t get enough of you

if I could have no one and nothing else

I would choose you

and you and you and you

Foolish

October 11th, 2015

There is no substitute for you

no matter where I go or what I do

This house can’t feel like home

and I’m always alone

 

I didn’t mean for you to be

the hook upon I’d hang my dreams

Resting so precariously

How very foolish of me

 

You were the light in the dark

the only one to pierce my heart

Finally I felt alive

Imaginging you by my side

 

Didn’t see you walk right up

Can I even justify my love?

Had this broken heart for so long

How many months since you’ve been gone?

 

I didn’t mean for you to be

the hook upon I’d hang my dreams

Resting so precariously

How very foolish of me

 

And I have so much to say

about how you made me feel this way

Straight to the heart of the things

but you’re not listening

 

Did I think we’re meant to be?

Caught up in love so easily?

Giving you every part of me

How very foolish, I see

Memetics

September 21st, 2015

We never got the chance

to make memories

you and me

falling blindingly

But it’s all a haze

and I can’t recall

any single day

and while I’m sure you remember me

I still finding myself wishing

we’d made  just one more memory

Blocked

June 29th, 2015

I thought I would feel better than this already

by blocking you from my sight, my life

but it seems like I just cannot block you from my heart

and that is where I hold all my sadness

 

Shuffling Through Sorrow

April 21st, 2015

Every song is sadder than the last

melodic reminders of everything

that I don’t have

all the things gone wrong

in such a short life

every failure on my own behalf

and each nagging thought that follows

Next time I’ll make a damn playlist

 

Gimme

April 21st, 2015

I have a craving for peanut butter

and chocolate

in ice cream

just like I have a craving for you

and breathless afternoons

in my bed

but I guess I can’t have either

so I’ll sate myself

with whiskey

it comes with less regret anyway

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