Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

How long has it been?

August 12th, 2005

Over a year. Much, much too long! I have such plans for this place including a new layout (good bye yucky frames which I long ago forgot how to use!), installing a new blog program (good bye blogger – hello comments, password protection and more!), transferring all writing from the LJ to here, more frequent updates and more! Enough with future plans; here’s something to whet your appetite!


Slim sipped hot coffee from the almost-clean cup the waitress handed him. Steam rose from the cup angrily before dissipating into the humid afternoon air. Slim wondered just what he was doing here, in this rundown old diner with stains on the walls and floors and duct tape on the tables. He took another sip, his eyes following an old Dodge as it rumbled down the dirt and gravel road, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake.

That could have been him once, he mused before looking back down at the crumpled newspaper on which he rested his hand. Slim had been your typical teenaged boy, loud and a little obnoxious amongst his friends yet quiet and respectful around his elders, especially old Mrs. Tillmen who lived down the street from his parents house. He loved the outdoors although he wasn’t especially athletic. Hunting, fishing, camping – those sports enticed him more than football, but he did play it a bit. Not popular but not shunned by his peers, Slim rarely paid attention to the social ladder and his currently position on it like so many others worked themselves into a frenzy. He had his friends and with them, he had fun. He’d a few girlfriends and while most of those relationships had been short lived, he wasn’t worried about settling down or being doomed to singularity for the rest of his life. He was simply enjoying his youth and maybe, just maybe, learning a little about women while he did it.

However, if Slim wasn’t anything it was slim, as his nickname might have implied. At just over 6 foot, he weighed in at a solid 250 pounds. While his physical appearance might have made him appear a little rough and rugged on the outside, he could be quiet and observant when he thought the situation called for it, although he was far from refined or sophisticated. Slim was intelligent enough, moreso than he appeared, at least and this often worked in his advantage. He didn’t mind if others mistook him for an unintelligent simpleton because he knew better and because, most of the time, nothing really bothered him.

Slim sighed, coming out of his reverie. There was no longer steam rising from his coffee and the sky outside the diner was slightly darker than it had been before. That was then and times were different. Slim had been looking forward to a promising future. College, marriage, maybe even a career and who-knows-what-else awaited for him, but that had changed and Slim plenty bothered slim these days. Slim rose from his seat, his body seemed to resist and, he had to admit, his mind was of the same opinion. He could just sit on that chair in that dirty little diner until his breathing stopped and his heart failed or, at least, until insanity overtook his mind and he’d had no more worries. No, that was no good. He was 32, not 82 and he still had a life ahead of him, even if was a bleak one.

Walking to the register, Slim placed his bill and a crisp $5 bill on the counter before walking out. “Let the waitress keep the change,” he thought, “Maybe she has something better on which to spend it.” Exiting the diner, Slim stared down the road, away from the sunset before starking the nearly-a-mile trek toward the motel where he’d booked a room for the next several nights. One thing was for sure; he’d rise early in the morning and get a start looking for a job because his meager cash supply wasn’t going to sustain even an impoverished lifestyle for very long. Besides, working work help distract him from his guilty conscience and the memories of the boy he used to be, the life he used to live, which left a vile taste in his mouth and made his stomach turn.

Slim’s gaze focused dead ahead as he marched back toward his, hopefully, temporary abode, the setting sun casting his shadow on the gravel ahead of him. Tomorrow would be a long day, but he had a feeling that he’d soon be accustomed to long days.

July 12th, 2004

Lyrical Musings has a new home! My new domain http://7and1.net is going to be up shortly and Lyrical Musings will reside here.

Physical Endurance

June 7th, 2004

The air is thick and heavy with the intoxicating scent of flowers, -ias and -ies whose names I’ve never much cared to learn. I feel the sweat running down my face, coats already beading upon my skin and no matter how hard I try, a wipe with my hand will not make me feel any less sticky, nor any more hygienic. Each breathe feels as though I’m trying to inhale more water than air, and the clothing mats to my skin as I keep walking. The air is still, not a car in sight, and the only sounds are my laboured breaths, rhythmic and shallow. My thoughts reverberate off the walls of my head, occasionally something distracting me back into reality. Whatever I last consumed isn’t sitting well in the pit of my stomach, and the last 5 miles are catching up with me; my feet want out of this predicament.

Late

May 31st, 2004

and in the morning the rain keeps falling
a heart-stained melody to invade my dreams
i’m reminded that it’s time to awake again
however reluctant to peel away from warm sheets
the day is just around the bend,
but i slow hoping that maybe it will wait for me to be ready
alas, how naive of me to think the world even notices
climbing out, eyes groggy, steps shakey
it’s just another morning in a world of rush and i am late again

merci beaucoup

May 8th, 2004

forgive me in my incoherence
i’ve forgotten to thank you
and thank you i shall
all in good time, my friend
all in good time
funny how i forget – to practice what i preach
and here i am a-preaching,
standing at my pulpit before my congregation
of a thousand worthless saints
one thousand upturned faces
who i’d like to thank for the turnout and
by the way, could you adjust
lighting
makeup
and we’re on in five my congregation of sheep,
with beady eyes
greedy eyes
ready to pounce as soon as i turn my back
i’d like to thank you for your kind words
i’d like to thank you for your appreciation
i’d like to thank you
i’d like to thank you with my body, mind & soul
i’d like to show you my gratitude
right here and now
as soon as i remember to thank you

You and Me

March 22nd, 2004

falling into ecstasy are you? are we?
tumbling below the bottom line
head over feet and heart over mind lips,
and hearts, and stars, and scars
this moment eternally being ours bound by nature,
relinquishing naught
never fading, nor falling off
is this how we chose to be forever you?
forever we?
stumbling blindly, mute lips screaming
grasping for what we’ve been dreaming
lightning strikes and we’re left bare
and with nothing left for us here
the sky is falling
don’t you see crushing you? crushing we?
always you, always we

Wishful Thinking

February 17th, 2004

want to kiss you in the morning
as you leave for the office
want to listen to you in the evening
relaying the day’s events
wanna hold you in the nighttime listening to you breathe
thinking of you in the daytime wanting you near

Robin Hood

February 5th, 2004

i’ve grown weary of this game
all is futile, all is petty
all efforts in vain
yet still we try
still we resist to no avail
are dreams never to be realized
the bitter taste of revenge
on the tips of our tongues
as we lash out at those around us
surround us, your majesty
tell us what to do and we shall obey
life is no longer the joyful
gaiety it once was
it drags on and on
so trivial is all seems
where is my avenger?

My Beloved

February 5th, 2004

whispering, daunting
your lips barely touch my ear
come closer, love
let me feel you next to me
let your body mold to mine
now’s not the time for trivial things
look at me, love
tell me that you love me
hold me
caress me gently
just us, love
don’t our tangled limbs spell f-o-r-e-v-e-r
tell me, love
why are we here?

Insurmountable

February 5th, 2004

tears
inevitable
unexplainable yet they fall
there are no rains more raging than these falls
no mountains nor hills more wild
no wild be more carnal
wanting, waiting, wishing
your tears, your fears your everlasting sorrow
something tells me to stop
something tells me to go
something tells me no
reaching, rising, ripping
he falls to pieces at your feet
is this how you wanted it to be?

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