Suffocated
Suffocated
and im the center of attention
they stand around me
laughing, touching, loving
the light’s on me
the one everyone’s looking at
and i’m happy
loved
surrounded
i set the scenario
i smile and laugh along with them
i let them know it’s okay
i am their goddess
they don’t know i won’t be there
they don’t know i’ll be so far away
they can’t imagine
i’ve as much lust for their lies
as i do for this life
wish i could carry myself like it didn’t matter
my eyes telling only of this infinite sorrow
you don’t know even though i try
to tell you just how it tears
at my soul, and everything comes pouring out
but i can’t cry, can’t let go
and i’m anxious, it won’t go away
i’m caught up in this whirlwind of nothingness
and it settles in the air, on the ground, on my heart
like a layer of dust
softening everything, making it so hard to breathe
and i can’t stand the look of it all
i want to lay down and fade away