Vanity
Vanity
i need to write again i’ve begun to miss the catharsis funny how i use the words i’ve been taught by the people who i never really listen to and yet it seems that they’re the ones i keep hearing in my mind over and again never satisfied until i’m ready to give up and then they say nevermind and i stand with my jaw hanging staring wondering how they could be like that and i snap out of it knowing it was only a daydream and i’m sitting here in class with my pencil on the paper i’ve begun to doodle hearts and stars around your name only you’re not mine anymore and i try to hold back the tears cant let my mascara run now i did such a nice make up job this morning i almost look dead you always laughed at my peculiar tendencies and now sometimes i do too but its just not the same when its not your voice and i turn to run but i’m stuck in a corner surrounded by brick walls i sink down and cover my face but i cant hide my sobs but no one wants to hear so it doesn’t matter anyway and i’m sick of being stuck in this maze only no one cares and i’ve felt this way before its like deja vu only this dream is never the same and i can feel it falling away