Find X (Greater Than One)
Once wasn’t enough, I see that now
I had to have you a second time, then
athirdafourthafifth and more
Once is never enough because
you don’t know if the first time was
mediocre and awkward
because you didn’t know my rhythm
and I couldn’t find my voice
Nor can we know if it was a fluke
that cannot be repeated,
no matter how hard
or how many times
we try
So I had to have you again,
and I have — some of you
Some of you elude me
I wanted you more,
and you gave me less.
And the less you gave,
the more I wanted of you
A vicious cycle to be sure
Sometimes, just sometimes
once is enough
more often than not,
once is too much
it threatens to pull me
every which way
and I cannot
Ironic, I suppose,
that I’ve felt this
compulsion for more,
knowing that once will never be enough,
more than once.
Toomuch.
The only time when
once would be
enough.