I wrote three poems today
iguessthismakesfour
i just sat down and felt the words that some would perhaps say i’d been putting off for too long
and now i feel whateveritisyouwouldcall
the feeling where you’re no longer weighed down by everything that you let haunt you
if
if i should
if i should forget you entirely
all the times, good and bad and in between
if i should let it all go
because the bad is too much
much too much for me to handle
and it brings me to my knees
drives the very breath
from my lungs
if i should let go
of everything
of you
and me
and
…us
because i cannot tear our story in half
rip the binding in twain
and toss the pages to the wind
if i
should try to erase you
from those pages
those chapters
and from in between
every single line
if i even could
then i would
erase a part of myself
My heart breaks for her, the girl who looked in the mirror and saw nothing but defects. She tried and tried and tried some more to hide them, to hide herself, from the world, lest they discover how broken she really was. She hid behind masks and scowls and eyeliners, and she hated the world for making her hide almost as much as she hated her defected self.
I shed a tear for the girl who had no idea whatsoever that she might be the holder of redeeming qualities. I would hold her close and whisper into her ear that it isn’t true no matter what some people might say. It’s only their own insecurities and perhaps they weren’t ready, the world wasn’t ready, for someone like her to walk its paths.
I wonder why why why and how a person like her could spend more than half her life, wasting the years away, hiding and completely oblivious to her own light. Days and nights blending together with no light at the end of the tunnel. After all, there can be no light if her eyes are and everything is dark dark dark.
If only I could have, had I known, were I able to, create the safe place where she could open her eyes, embrace the world, spread her love and finally finally finally shine.
I didn’t know that I was smart
that my wit was razor sharp
and I could have done more
oh-so-much more
if only I had applied myself
I didn’t know that I was funny
I couldn’t have imagined the way
I could make them laugh
oh-so-hard into the night
in the years to come
I didn’t know that I was desirable
it never crossed my mind that
someone might look at me and say
“Oh, I want her”
that I could inspire such lustful glances
I didn’t know that I was capable
I thought for sure that things would fall apart
if left in my hands and I would go
Oh no no no!
and be helpless as pieces crumbled around me
I didn’t know I was loving
that my arms could reach for days
and hold people close at night despite being
oh-so-short and seemingly inferior
because my heart was big enough
And you don’t know that you are
more thank you think you are
there are redeeming qualities you can count
oh-so-many redeeming qualities
if only you would let yourself see