Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

i guess i always wanted
to be genius in your eyes
but it never worked out that way
as i always came up short
i thought you knew the world
and were wise beyond your years
but it turns out you were just a little boy
your opinion was all that mattered
but i soon came to realize
i would never mean to you what you meant to me
when you know you’re giving
more than ever will be received in return
it’s time to step off of your electric chair
before the possible becomes the inevitable
and you’re stuck in someone’s web
woven into oblivion
i could not breathe without your say
and i let you twist me grotesquely
i would not argue or complain
for fear that you would leave
but no matter how good i was
you left me just the same
and my tears would fall again
i don’t know how many times i let you
trample down my garden
but i knew one of these days enough would be enough
you could bend and shape me
but i’d never let you break me i
don’t think you knew how angry i’d become
it was more than just a lie,
it was my heart that was on the line
the day i grew the strength to say good bye,
i knew i didn’t need you
i could walk away with my head held high, it was me who would leave you
somewhere along the line i felt the pain and doubled back again
but caught myself just in time, before i crossed that line
i knew if i submitted to your abuse i’d be caught forever
and the better part of me knew
there was something better than you
i see you now and you’re naive
you know nothing of the world you see
you know nothing of the love you waste
and i am better than that
a little wiser i would dare to say
because it doesn’t matter if i’m genius in your eyes

as the first light comes creeping in
i’m still held in your gaze, your embrace
my heart still flutters as you whisper
sweet nothings into my ear and i am yours completely
there are no doubts only moonlit hours of bliss
and when i crawl into bed at night
your name is still on my lips
the face that i see under closed lids
is none other than your own
i’d give up my last breath
to make these moments last longer
for there is never enough time in the day
and in another minute i could tell you
how i love you
but i’d rather have an hour to show you
the faces come and go
and it’s still you i return to
like romeo and juliet sneaking through the gardens
i will await for you
when night falls
infallibly you know i will be there
and i am breathless as i wait
like the magic in the trees
as the wind blows
afraid to speak
to break the spell
but this is not spell at all
this is love love that makes me tremble
and you are the only thing holding me
from floating to the sky, and laying in the mists of the stars
you have induced feelings in me
that have been locked away
without even trying
you have brought out the best of me
and i have nothing but adoration
for the one who lifts me so high
the one who is always on my mind
the one who keeps me awake at 5:12 in the morning