Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

Catharsis

Catharsis

Catharsis: a purification of emotions
the soul’s release {purge}
my soul
rotten fucking soul
you’ve torn to shreds
and left to bleed
without ever caring
the worthless soul
you never cared about
i am the fucking trash
you never forgot to overlook
i need to feel again
feel clean, innocent, pure
i need my baptism
just like when i was a child
idealistic and innocent
shining green eyes
asking “what’s this?”
where did that all go?
when was i overcome with emotion; sadness and grief?
left with all this teen angst
and heartache to deal with
when did i become just another whore,
left to fend for herself
with out a clue where to go?
what happened to all my self esteem
and why is my image faded and cracked
when did i resort do denial
why am i always shadowed by this depression
how has the thought of suicide become normal,
almost comforting to me?
i became the thing i hate the most
now i’m psycho analyzing my every move
the answers aren’t good enough for me
i want to know the truth
i want everything,
everything is too much
i’d like to let it all go
but not before i have the chance to hate it all
yet i run away and hide
avoid confrontation
still speaking my mind
can’t have it any way other than my own
i’m a selfish brat
bit my tongue again
i’m choking on air
my supply’s almost out
better call the dealer
wouldn’t want to go through withdrawal
not another relationship gone sour
i wouldn’t know where to start if i tried
stuck in the astral plane
trying to connect with your soul
only you’re not there anymore
and i miss you terribly
but i can’t help it cause we’re thru
i still hope you’ll come back to me
and i can’t make myself move on
the opportunity isn’t there anyway
it never was
and this leash around my neck has lost it’s collar
i can’t breathe anymore
can’t scream for help when i want to
there’s a whole lot of nothing
i can even do
i need support to walk
why am i so helpless?
you made it all easier
i made it all fucked up
i wish they’d all stop arguing
cause i know the truth
even if i refuse it
even if i deny you
i can’t help but wanna be you
i’ll never make it to the next step
stuck in the middle
the walls are closing in
i can’t breathe
and i’ve got homework to do

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