Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

Suffocated

Suffocated

and im the center of attention
they stand around me
laughing, touching, loving
the light’s on me
the one everyone’s looking at
and i’m happy
loved
surrounded
i set the scenario
i smile and laugh along with them
i let them know it’s okay
i am their goddess
they don’t know i won’t be there
they don’t know i’ll be so far away
they can’t imagine
i’ve as much lust for their lies
as i do for this life
wish i could carry myself like it didn’t matter
my eyes telling only of this infinite sorrow
you don’t know even though i try
to tell you just how it tears
at my soul, and everything comes pouring out
but i can’t cry, can’t let go
and i’m anxious, it won’t go away
i’m caught up in this whirlwind of nothingness
and it settles in the air, on the ground, on my heart
like a layer of dust
softening everything, making it so hard to breathe
and i can’t stand the look of it all
i want to lay down and fade away

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