Lyrical Musings an emotional journey via train of thought

What are you supposed to be?

November 15th, 2012

It’s that feeling, the drop in the pit of your stomach like you’re on a roller coaster, but this is no ride. It’s more like slamming on the breaks after racing down a steep hill, hoping that you’ll stop in time before you hit that deer–and that the guy behind you will stop in time before hitting you. It’s the catch in your throat because you know you want to cry, but you can’t. You just can’t. You can’t do anything because you’re not supposed to feel like this. Life wasn’t supposed to feel like this, but it does.

And you wonder how you got to this point. How did any of us get here? Why didn’t anyone mention that it was going to be like this?

“And, oh, by the way, nothing about being an adult makes sense. The real world is completely fucked up. There’s nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t get better or easier.”

But here you are in the really, really real world, and it really, really sucks. You’ve got that sinking feeling because the worst possible thing that can be happening right now is happened, has happened, will happened. It’s like someone punched you in the gut and the pain won’t go away. It.just.won’t.stop.

How do they expect you to function with any semblance of a human being when it feels like this How are you supposed to reach your potential and make a difference? Find happiness? Start a family? Change the world?

Just who are you to do any of that? What did you do to deserve this real world stuff in the first place?

Nothing. It’s never anything. Just nothing.